Recipe for

“A Happy Marriage”

Take two happy people –one male and one female–and separate them from their parents. Add the following ingredients in generous proportions:

Love

Acceptance

Respect

Communications

Patience

Kindness

Gentleness

Self Control

Commitment

Faith

Hope

Truth

Mix together, then thoroughly sift in daily life. Strain out jealousy, arrogance, selfishness, procrastination and accounting of wrongs. Bake in the trials and tribulations of life for 50 years, and then celebrate when golden.

The 100/0 Principle, by Al Ritter

 Chapter 7 – It Doesn’t Take Two to Tango
Excerpt from The 100/0 Principle
By Al Ritter

You’re probably familiar with the old adage “it takes two to tango.” But to have happier, more productive relationships, you’ve got to stop dancing. The 100/0 Principle is the simplest, most direct and most effective way to create solid relationships; relationships that will benefit you both personally and professionally.

While it may take two to tango, it only takes you to commit to creating a relationship with the people in your life. Take full responsibility for your relationships and consciously choose to suspend judgment of people. Indeed, treat them with respect and dignity whether deserved or not.

Think about to whom you can apply The 100/0 Principle. Almost all parents easily and naturally have a 100/0 relationship with their children and grand-children—a state of unconditional love. Parents might not love how their children behave, but regardless of the tantrums and stubbornness, the fits and idiosyncrasies, at the end of the day, parents still have a fierce love for their children.

Most of us also have 100/0 relationships with our close friends. Our friends have proven themselves to us, so it’s fairly easy for us to take full responsibility for our friendships in good times or bad.

It’s in the other important relationships in my life, and probably yours too, where our track record needs improvement:

  • Marriage. The divorce rate in the United States has been around 50% for a long time. Yet research has shown that virtually all marriages have challenges. Why does one person stay with a challenging marriage, while another looks for happiness in another mate? Certainly one valid explanation is The 100/0 Principle—whether someone chooses to take real responsibility for the relationship rather than depending on their marriage partner as their primary source of happiness. Remember that no one can make you happy, happiness is a response that you choose.

 

  • Extended Family. Brothers, sisters, in-laws, aunts, uncles, cousins, nieces, nephews. Most of us tend to have a spotty record here too. We tend to forget that our family members are the only ones we have—my Aunt Edna is my only Aunt Edna. It behooves me to create and sustain a relationship with her, and with my other extended family members too.What someone allegedly said or did to someone else 10 years ago shouldn’t impact your happiness today. It’s your choice whether you let it or not. When you hold onto ill feelings you’re victimizing yourself. Let it go and take responsibility for making a positive future. You’re in charge of you and your actions.
  • Coworkers, Customers, Suppliers. All the research, plus my 20 years as a consultant to thousands of business people, proves without a doubt that the success of an individual, a team, or an entire organization depends largely on the quality of the relationships. Remember, actions + relationships = results. When it comes to your coworkers, customers and suppliers, practice 100/0: take responsibility for those relationships, period.

 

People You Meet. As we’ve discussed previously, we tend to automatically react in a judgmental manner when we meet others. The 100/0 Principle is the antithesis to judgment. It’s about deciding that you are in charge, not your automatic tendencies.’

 

To see inside the book click on the banner below.

100/0 Principle

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