“Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” is a very old saying one that in the modern world of technology is often neglected in our relationships. We have almost reached a point where we feel it less stressful to interact more through our computers than with real relationships. The constant need for instantaneous responses to our querries and demands means that we are slowly loosing the experience to successfully interact with the ones we love.
After a hard day at work or when you have finished caring for the children the best reward you are able to give to the one you love is to listen, that is correct I did write listen! Get time for both of you to enjoy a few moments “us’ time, try starting with something uncomplicated such as “What was the best thing about your day?” it will give your partner the chance to open up about their day, as opposed to the common “how was your day?” to which the answer can be a single word – “Good”. In order that you can be an attentive listener you should ask open questions that are unable to be answered with a one word. Takes practice but the benefits to your relationship are wonderful.
If you are going through these problems then as a follow-on from this page take a look at ” Charging the Human Battery ”for further suggestions .
Try to be above all a listener, that shows you respect your partner opinions, remember that 90% of communication connecting you is unspoken , in other words body language, your partner will quickly realise that you are not really listening to what they are saying. This will help to destroy your relationship given time eventually reaching at the point when they tell you “you never listen to what I have to say……”, or even worse “you only listen when you want something…………..”
Do not interrupt them or try to finish their sentences for them, give them time, it is a little known fact that we can process words at a much faster rate than we can speak them, so just listen, be interested in what they say, put them first .
It is not important if your relationship is just starting or well established~ long standing} the needs are the same to keep it together is to listen to whatever your partner has to say about the things that are important to them, then make a reply only when you have finished listening and understood what they said. Sounds very deep I know, but if make assumptions that you know what they mean without listening properly and give an incorrect response then follow it with the worst put down – ‘I thought that’s what you meant……….”, will get you into a lot of trouble. Neglect things now and you may well end up asking What’s the secret to a successful marriage?
Listening is such a small thing to give your partner, but over a long period of time I have found that one of the commonest relationship issues is frequently signaled, in a relationship advice session, when one or other of them says “She/he never listens to a thing I say………………”, which almost invariably means that whenever they talk to each other they do not give themslves time to listen, you know the “two ears, two eyes & one mouth” thing, means speak once listen and look twice .
Whatever age we are we all of us of us need to know that the other wants to hear what we have to say and show us the respect we crave by listening, it can about any subject like, their opinion on the latest film/game/book/TV show/what happened in their day ……..the list can be endless and it is frequently trivial stuff but they want to share it with YOU, all you have to do is to LISTEN.
Keep you love for each other strong by talking daily and above all LISTENING to what the other has to say, Successful communication means a successful relationship – got it? For more advice see inside the book. Charging the Human Battery
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